October 24th – Rugby Muddy Bakes

1999:  I awoke in the early hours to find mummy asleep on the bathroom floor!  It frightened me a bit and I started to cry which woke her up.  She took me to her bed but I didn’t like that much either because Al was there and snoring very loudly, so mum and I ended up in my bed!  Al made me a bacon sandwich for breakfast.  When mummy got up we went to see Nanny and then mum went to see Bomper.  We had egg and bacon for lunch and when mummy came to collect me she had to wait while Pa and I made some bread.  Once home I played in the garden and got very very muddy and ended up in the bath before tea.

2019: Used to love baking with Pa. He had a bread maker and I used to sit on the kitchen side watching the mixture go round and round. Although I love cooking, I don’t really do much baking – unless you can count packet cake mix?! Belatedly watched the England v Australia highlights – Watts interception was insane  as was the grubber kick. Going to miss England v All Blacks on Saturday as have put down to work overtime.  Mum’s worried I’m going to tire myself out but my thinking is I’m tired either way, so might as well get paid for it

#mentalhealth #crohns #work #kids #parents #grandparents #Rugby #cooking #baking

October 22nd -Think I need a Stress MOT

1999: Up at 6.30.  We went downstairs and got my milk and then snuggled up to mum until she got up at seven.  Playschool this morning and afterwards Edon took me to the Wimpy for lunch.  Had a very tiring day and fell asleep at five on the settee at home.

2019: STRESS! What an idyllic day that sounds. Today I had to nip out of work and juggle taking my car for an MOT. Rang mum “can I borrow £40 until pay day please? I need new windscreen wipers!” Also got advisories on tires and brake pads. If I had a little money …….

#kids #mums #Playschool #childminders #food #stress #mentalhealth #money #cars

October 20th – The Lions Lair

1999:  Edons first thing, then off to Nan’s – I was ready and waiting for her when she arrived.  I saw Pa, Nanny, Bomper and Uncle Telly – who painted a tiger on my face with Nan’s make up and printed me a picture from the Lion King from Pa’s computer.  We’d already had tea when mum came home and mum and I went up to the bathroom to “surprise” everyone with the new clean me.  Uncle Telly gave me £5 for some sweeties and Nanny has collected lots of ‘coloured bits’ for my sponsored yoghurt pot (and sponsored me too!)  Once back home I went to bed but told mummy she had “forgotten something” – a “wet wipe in my bed”.  She did laugh and was very impressed with my speech, but didn’t have a clue why I was requesting this!

2019: Not a good day. Completely exhausted when I got in from work. I just didn’t have the energy to cook anything and so asked Zof to do so. This ended up in a dispute and so I got some space and went to mums for a bit where I polished off the rest of the beef hotpot they had made for dinner. I had a chat with mum when she advised that cooking is only a life skill once you have learnt to do it. Just because I have always cooked and seem to have a natural flare, not everyone does. Point made, I headed back home.

#LionKing #childhood #kids #parents #family #adulthood #cooking #crohns #mentalhealth

September 3rd – Poo, Crohns and Antidepressants

1999: Woke up at half six, in my bed, I’m sure I was in a coach last time I looked.  Had a big cuddle with mum and had to drag her out of bed this morning.  We hung the washing on the line and I spied the moon. Mummy’s explanation as to why the moon and the sun were there only served to complicate things so she wound up saying that it the moon wasn’t tired enough to go to bed yet.  I shouldn’t think so; it’s not night time yet.  I think I might be missing the point somewhere.  Had a late lunch, and a nap on the sofa at Edons today so mum and I had lots of relaxing time to play this evening.  I climbed the ladder to my new, part built house, and then pretended to be a fireman and then a police man.  Mummy reckons they don’t have poo in their pants though.  But I was in a scary situation mum!

2019: Finally told mum that I was off sick from work still and my GP is in holiday. Encouraged me to ring and get appointment with any doctor or nurse practitioner which I did. Now on 30mg of Mirtazapine (as advised by mum, as 30mg is antidepressant dose and best for my stomach with Crohns – its handy having your own mental health nurse mum at times (but it can be very annoying at others!))

#crohns #mentalhealth #antidepressants #kids #parents #play #depression #anxiety

 

July 28th – Vocalising Celebrations

1999   Impressed mum as I came into her room this morning and said “can I have” but needed help with the “a drink please” bit.  Mum thought I was very clever and said it was far nicer than the “dink” I usually holler in her ear.  That’s as may be, but it’s much harder work if you ask me.  I mean, why use all those words when you can get the same result just using one?  Adults!  I’ll never understand them.  Found the camera on the lounge floor this morning and   took several photos of the telly, the carpet, the curtain, my foot etc.  Should look good when the films developed (nice surprise for mum anyhow). Went to Edons and then Nanny’s today.  The sun was shining and I played in the garden all day. Nanny gave me a new shirt from Uncle Teddy – a Southend United one!   I was very tired tonight which resulted in tantrums; largely because mummy pulled the plug out of the bath just because I slapped her!  I was back home and in bed by seven and asleep two minutes later.

2019: Long drive back from Wales to Beccles today, made worse by an hour and a half jam on the A14. Legs are pretty wobbly from yesterdays run but I’m happy I did the run and am also celebrating one year with Zof today! She has stuck by me (even holding my hand in hospital after surgery and looking after me when I was discharged at the beginning of July when we were just friends). She has inspired me, encouraged me, helped me,  filled me with confidence and let me be me. Looking forwards to many more years together.

#toddlers #childhood #adulthood #vocabulary #childtalk #photography #sunshine #footbal #southendutd #tantrums  #Beccles #Wales #Trafficjams #girlfriend #friends #crohns #hemicolectomy #mentalhealth

July 9th – Painting a Smile with Scars

1999:  I insisted on playing under mummy’s bed at 6am but and she wasn’t too impressed.  It was good fun though – I’d removed all the toilet rolls from the bathroom cupboard and created a new storage space below the bed!    We walked to the shops and then to the park and while we were there the fire engine arrived.  This was meant to be for the children at playschool to look at, but guess who got first look inside?  And mummy was second.  We went home and played in the front garden, for a change.  I was allowed to bring my car and bike out whilst mummy cut the grass.  It was a very hot day today and Mummy filled up half of my shell with water so I had a paddling pool one side and a sandpit the other.  Mummy got the paints out and I painted 3 nice pictures as well as my feet, mummy’s feet, my car and the paving slabs in the garden.  Nanny popped round with 4 new pairs of shorts and two posters for my room which mummy and I put up tonight.  After tea we went for another walk down to the shops as mum had forgotten to get the milk when we went earlier!  I didn’t mind though as I got to chomp on a strawberry Cornetto on the way back.  

2019:  So a year ago I’d had surgery, walked, weed, eaten and pooed and was finally allowed to come home and posted this:

“You know its mad what trauma can do to your mind; I ised to be so conscious about my body , always wanted to have good aesthetics and have the “perfect” body image; and after going through 18 months of hell and finally getting surgery; you know what? I don’t care what should be right or wrong or what the “perfect” image should be, Im just right in my own way, my scars define me and what I have been through physically, emotionally and mentally. Jack is back and Im walking with a smile on my face and bringing scars to 2018.

#crohns #IBD #chronicillness #toddlers #childhood #adulthood #fun #surgery

July 3rd – Crohn’s can Feel like Tackling a Mountain Every Day

1999:  It was very hot and sunny yesterday but today there is no sun, but it is still warm so we had some garden play. I have felt a bit miserable and told mummy I was poorly. I had some medicine and at 11.15 I laid on the settee with juice and my blanket and fell asleep. Today I received my first appointment reminder for the dentist. Oooh, I hope I’m braver than mummy! I woke up at two and mum and I got our togs on and walked to the park. After a while we went to the shop for ice-cream which ended up on the slide and most other areas around the park. We had fish cakes and chips, with loads of sauce and made a picnic of it in the garden.

2019: Today I am fundraising at work for Crohns and Colitis with my mountain trek less than a month away now. This time last year I was having 28 cm of my ileum removed and re-sectioned. I was very excited about this due to the amount of pain, grief, anxiety and depression it had caused. Unfortunately I didn’t get the outcome I had been anticipating BUT, I am on the road to recovery and hopefully will soon have colonoscopy and Barium to clear the way for 8 weekly infusions. Meanwhile, I have a mountain to run up and down. To read more of my story or to support or cheer me on, you can contact me on Instagram chronically_livingcd or http://www.justgiving.com/Mountaintimetrial

#toddlers #childhood #adulthood #fundraising #crohns #IBD #colitis #chronicillness #notalldisabilitiesarevisible  #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #surgery