1999: I had a very restless night and apparently so did mum – now that’s what I call a coincidence. I slept in every angle possible on both beds (we swapped 4 times apparently) and at 6.30 started muttering about Pat again. Of course most of this is mummy’s version of events as I was mostly asleep throughout and I really think she’s taking this Pat thing a bit too far now. Mum made me cry at breakfast this morning. I was quite happily sitting in my high chair, flapping a whole rasher of bacon from my mouth, when Mummy told me to take it out. Well I didn’t see what was wrong with this so I carried on doing it and do you know what she did? She broke my bacon! After breakfast we went for a swim for a whole hour – Mummy eventually bribed me out of the pool with Pat (I thought you didn’t like him, this is so confusing).
Tonight I did my usual in the dining room making everyone on my table wear their napkins in their collar, just like me and then I gradually pull mine out so that they’re all sat there looking very funny and I’m the grown up one with mine abandoned! After dinner we went to the cabaret room for our usual dance. All week I have wanted to stand on the stage and sing into the microphone to the music, and tonight mummy let me do it. It was great fun and everyone was looking at me. The trouble started when a man then came on and started playing the organ and singing, and I wanted to go on the stage “again”. Mummy said I couldn’t as I’d already played and it was now the man’s turn and suggested we danced instead. As we danced on the floor I realized that everyone was paying attention to the man on the organ and not me and I wanted to join in with him, so I smacked mummy in the face and next thing I knew I was being marched off to bed. Well no one’s going to see me there are they you stupid woman!!
2019: No dancing or playing today just lots of hard work in stuffy lofts. Still like my tunes though and sing along in my van loud and clear. Tried to stay awake to welcome Mum and Mark home but was soundo in my bed by the time they got back
1999: After breakfast I wanted to take the lift, I called it, we got in and I pressed G for ground. I kept on pressing G and all that happened was the doors kept opening and closing and eventually mum said we’d best get out as it obviously wasn’t working. As we walked out, mummy suddenly realized that we had already walked up the stairs from the basement and were on the ground floor. So much for the responsible, guiding adult. When we eventually got back to the room we wrapped up really warm, complete with fleece, waterproofs, wellies and hats, picked up our buckets and spades and off we set for the beach. After a fair walk we eventually arrived at the beach only to discover there wasn’t one as the tide was right in and the water looked very stormy. I settled for jumping in puddles, walking along the walls and running across the green instead. We decided to go back to the hotel as mum said I could go in Billy Bears Den, but we got there to discover we had half an hour to wait before it opened. Mummy seemed more disappointed than me, I thought it was great as Pat kept me amused. No mummy don’t shoot him. We went to dinner via the cellar bar and Postman Pat. Mummy says that next year, instead of a holiday, she’s going to hire me a Pat ride for a week; if only! I had so many rides mum needed a wee before dinner and has now discovered the true meaning of using a public loo. As she was sat weeing, I unlocked the door and threw it wide open. Not contented with this I ran out of the toilets leaving mummy frantically trying to stop weeing, pull knickers up and catch me before I ran out the doors of the hotel.
2019: Its surprising I turned out as fine tuned considering my ditzy mum as a role model. No longer have any of my childhood videos (or a player) although I did hang on to the Wiggles one for a while as mum really didn’t like that one. Toot Toot, Chugger Chugger Big Red Car. Perhaps I should swap my silver Golf ………. More into horror movies now (although mum thinks there is a similarity here) and making Zof jump whenever I can. Have had a relaxed weekend together but rang mum today to check what time she is home tomorrow so I can tidy up!