Septmeber 28th – Poor Postman Pat and Rosie and Jim

1999:  Played with my Mickey Mouse balloon which I took from the top table (with the bride and grooms permission) and my new Winnie the Pooh brolly which Nanny and Pa had bought me.    Back to Edons today, stroppy with mum when she came to collect me but I was okay once in the car.  At home I chose yoghurt for tea, followed by fish fingers and Alphabites.  That’s what was served anyway, but the bin does get hungry and we have to feed it sometimes.  I was so tired and I didn’t want a bath or pyjamas, just milk which I had at 5.45 and was asleep within 5 minutes.  Ping – it’s midnight – wide awake – I had milk and a story of Peepo and settled back down.

2019:  Recovering today after a night out in Norwich last night. The first time out in months and safe to say I let my hair down (after having it cut yesterday) . Might have to remember to take an antacid before going out drinking in future! Pleased to report that Bethan, who was hit off her horse Nissy on Thursday night, is making a good recovery in hospital. Gutted to say that John Cunliffe died today – poor Rosie and Jim and Postman Pat have lost their creator

#horses #children #parents #grandparents #cooking #food #Norwich #Crohns #JohnCunliffe #ChildrensTV #childrensbooks

Setember 26th – From Wedding Days to RTA’s

1999: The big day has arrived – the social engagement of the year – Matt and Lou’s wedding.  I greeted mum at 7 by presenting her with a nappy full of poo.  Only thing was as I went to show her a lump of it fell in her bed.  We had a bath and got spruced up in our wedding clothes and set off mid-morning with Nanny and Pa.  I stayed in the church for 2 whole minutes and then mum took me out.  I don’t know why, I would have been quite happy to stay longer.  I played “runaway, runaway” and mum wasn’t too pleased.  Eventually we went for a walk down the road to get some sweeties and a drink from the shop.  We got back to the church just as everyone was coming out and off we headed to the reception.  There was music and I danced and pretended to play music with Pa and then went and shook hands with the musicians.  At the table where there was a present waiting for me of books, pens and bubbles.  I wandered off at one point, Pa followed and we wandered around.  When we got back to the hall we discovered that everyone else was running around hysterically hunting for something (or someone!)  I fell asleep at 9.45 following 5 whole tracks of dancing in mummy’s arms.

2019: Chilled day with Zof watching movies. Decided on Chinese for tea and, having spent £40 I did not want to pay £4 delivery so off we went to collect it. As I was driving, in my rear view mirror, I saw a horse and rider get knocked off behind me. I rapidly turned round and headed back to administer first aid and keep the 15 year old girl as calm and reassured as possible. Unfortunately, her horse had to be put down at the scene and fortunately there was an air ambulance in the skies. She was conscious but badly injured and am hoping that some of my actions helped reduce some of the impact. Got to Chinese 3 hours late but they now cooking us another one (Police said the constabulary could have paid for it if it hadn’t been £40 – think I deserve that much Chinese right now)

#accidents #incidents #weddings #horses #teenagers #airambulance #firstaid #children #parents #missing


September 23rd – Ketchup Catastrophe with Barty and Jack

1999:  Wee’d, pooed, ate drank, slept and said “oh bloody hell”.

2019: Blood taken in prep for starting Infliximab infusion on Wednesday.  Went to see mum and chopped up some wood for her fire. Couldn’t do much due to tiredness – crohns and depression but did cook a lush keto lunch for me and mum – steak, lardons, mushrooms and eggs and I actually managed to forgo my ketchup and mayo. One of my favourite bools as a kid was ‘Barty’s Ketchup Catastrophe’ by Sally chambers. Poor Barty was addicted to ketchup but he goes to stay with a friends for tea and there is none. Perhaps I am now cured of my addiction but was Barty?!

#toilettraining #infliximab #crohns #ChildrensBooks #keto #cooking #sauces



September 22nd – What’s a Lie In?!

1999: I was up at 4.15 and raring to go, which left mummy roaring.  Don’t think she was too impressed, just because she has to go to work.  What’s the matter with her?  Just to prove a point I stayed awake all day.  I was in good form though, until mummy walked in and disturbed my tea at Nanny’s.  After my tantrum I resumed my tea.  Bath at Nan’s and fell asleep at half seven in bed.  Don’t think mum was far behind me.

2019: Have been on the go all day today too – doing the housework (but did have a lie in!) Zof’s now on her way home from her parents and am looking forward to a chilled evening together. Not sure what to do for tea yet but we are on the keto wagon and I love meat! 

#kids #parents #grandparents #sleep #housework #keto #cooking

September 20th – Naughty Boys Play!

1999:  Playschool today.  Had dinner at lunch time and haven’t slept all day.  Was on good form when mum collected me though.  No paintings today even though I told her this morning I would do her “just one”.  Mum asked me if I’d had a good day – I shook my head.  She asked if I’d had a horrible day – I nodded.  But no more detail followed.  What more details does she want?  She left me didn’t she?  I played in my new house and crashed down the slide into a bean bag.  I made mummy laugh with all my chatter tonight.  She says I’m so sweet and protective of her.  Well I am the man after all.  Mind you, I told her that I was a “really, really naughty person!”  Isn’t it bad enough to be told that without your mother interrogating you to find out who said it?  I’m one of the gang now though, no super grass here, luckily she didn’t resort to torture. 

2019: Still really protective of mum although she would probably say I’m bossy at times. Today hasn’t been such a ‘horrible day’ as medication is kicking in and am starting to feel a bit better. Picked Kiegan up tonight, cooked dinner and we played on x box in the flat. No slides or bean bags here – think my bum would get stuck now

#toddlers #mums #Playschool #mentalhealth #Play #Naughtyboys

September 19th – Long Meh Days

1999: The house looks a bit tidier now, think mum must have been up all night. Toast and milk for brekkie. Mum started doing a shopping list and I raided the cupboard – mostly fruit cocktail.  Mum thought she had the house sorted, which she did, until I pulled the curtain rail off the wall.  We waited for half an hour to get my feet measured at Childrens World this morning and then we gave up.  Went to MFI to look at my new bed that mum has ordered – wicked!  Had chips from Donals drive through, went to Aunty Eesa’s and onto Somerfield where I went in the crèche with the girls. Once home again, with cupboards re-stocked, we had juice and crisps and then I wanted a lollipop.  We looked in the tin and there was only one left.  Mum said “what about me?”  I thought for a minute and found the solution – “mummy have one later”.  She laughed.  It worked – I got the lolly and fell asleep at half five on my bean bag.

2019: That day sounds exhausting. I am completely drained these last few days. Not sure if it is the depression, anxiety, medication or my Crohn’s but I am just completely meh. Today is gonna be long and just stretching out before me ……..

#crohns #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #kids #parents #shopping

September 18th – No Spills in MY New House

1999:  Very husky this morning, mummy and Nanny thought my tonsils were swollen so off to the doctors for medicine that goes in your mouth this time.  The whole house is in mummy’s bedroom and the kitchen – what a mess.  I helped Pa build my house with slide which is absolutely brilliant (and tidy).  Dev came just after lunch to lay my bedroom carpet and replace the lounge one.  I fell asleep in the garden on my beanbag whilst the work carried on around me.  I woke up just as Dev was finishing and I waved him goodbye.  Mum and Nan blitzed the place and moved the furniture back.  I felt grouchy though, everyone was so busy they hardly noticed me.  Don’t they love me anymore?  I’m always the centre of attention.  We had fish and chips for tea and I managed to drop my fork, covered in ketchup of course, on the new carpet.  That’s one way to direct the attention back to me I guess  Went to bed in my own bedroom complete with my new teddy bear carpet.

2019: I was always dropping things – still do. Dyspraxia or just not paying attention? Who knows. I think the best one was n Lincolnshire when we’d just renovated the lounge complete with new carpet. I was about 8 and carrying spaghetti bolognaise through to the lounge and watched in horrified slow motion as it just slipped off of my plate. Mum was pretty cool about it though. She was more upset for me losing my favourite dinner so I got to share hers.

#food #kids #parents #family #carpentry #playhouse #carpets #spillages

September 15th – Suicide Awareness

1999:  Had lemon curd sandwiches for my lunch. Mum thinks this is revolting enough but when Nan told her I’d added cheese to the equation she felt sick.  Shows how much she knows – it was very nice “actually”.  Pa has built my steps for my playhouse which I used to climb up and down his shed today.  I had my bath at Nanny’s and went to sleep in mum’s bed again.

2019: A year ago today found me and Zof at the top of Snowden (which inspired my run up it for charity this year). On this occasion I lay roses in memory of Ibish Peri, who had taken his own life a few days before, leaving many people in Norwich astounded and saddened. Suicide is the leading cause of death in men under the age of 45 in the UK. We all need to look out for each other, ask the right questions, encourage people to get support, be there and just listen but, more importantly, we all need to learn to reach out. There is ALWAYS SOMEONE there for you and your feelings will change and it will not be like this forever.

Suicide Hotline Numbers:

UK Samaritans (call free) 116 123

USA 1-800-273-8255

Canada 1-800-456-4566

Ireland 116 123

Philippines 2919

Australia 131 114

 #mentalhealth #suicide #malesuicide #snowdon #kids #mums #grandparents

September 13th – Flannel Therapy

1999:  Apparently I kept crying out in my sleep last night – dreaming or poorly – who knows?  Not me – I was asleep!  I had Calpol this morning as was feeling grouchy and a bit chesty.  Playschool this morning and did another painting which I proudly told mummy was “for you”, when she came to collect me.  Tonight  I had a play in the garden and after tea had a bath with mum which was great fun – throwing flannels at each other!  All the walls in my room are now painted and for once mum’s done it right with the colour choice. I went to sleep in mummy’s bed tonight as mum doesn’t seem to want to trust me with the wet paint.

2019: Perhaps flannel throwing therapy would be good right now. I think the hardest thing about Crohn’s is not the physical issues, it’s the mental and psychological side that’s the hardest to cope with and control. I had a pre medical app with my gastro and he said “I presume you don’t want another surgery” I said no…but now I think about it, honestly…I’d rather endure a few weeks of recovery again to have the possibility of all the ulcerations removed to stop at least a part of the issue, than have to start trialing a new medication again. –

I think it’s more PTSD again that even tho i’ve gone through all of my past things like surgery and surviving sepsis with around a 72% chance of death; that I STILL have to be starting over again with the same check ups and trials.

I think it’s tough for men also to speak more openly about mental health and my Crohn’s has a huge impact on my mental health, depression is affected by the amount of serotonin, and 90% of serotonin is from the stomach! So I hope you can see how natural and normal it is if you suffer from mental health issues when you suffer from IBD. –

I personally don’t talk about my issues as I don’t feel like it helps or relieves me, I have my own way of dealing with problems…I guess i’m just here to say that if you suffer then don’t worry, you’re not the only one struggling, find what helps you, find what triggers you, we’re all on a journey and there’s no right or wrong turn, we are all trying to get to the same destination, and we all will; just in a distant time, it’s a marathon, not a Race.

I have now been to pick up my mirtazapine which was prescribed 10 days ago and will hopefully bounce back soon. 

toddlers #mums #kids #parents #crohns #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression 

September 12th – Putting on a Face but Infliximab, at Last, Makes Me Truly Happy

1999: Awake at four and restless until six when I got up (well, banished to downstairs actually).  Mum eventually dragged herself up at 7.30 – God, she looks rough this morning.  We spent the morning in the garden in my house, on my slide and swing.  I helped mum mow the grass and later we made big bubbles with a bucket of soapy water and a racket (I didn’t hear any noise though).  Today’s plan was for us to go to Children’s World for new shoes, trainers and a wedding outfit, but I’m feeling a bit poorly and very tired.  I fell asleep on the settee at half two and didn’t wake fully until four when I wanted to go for a “little walk” to the “tunnel”.  So off we set down the alley way to the tunnel, where we heard our echoes and then came back.    Half an hour later we were in the car and off to Donals for Josh’s birthday party.  I had great fun and had my face painted like the “Lion King”.  I was very sweet and well behaved and mummy watched on proudly.  We got home at half seven, had a bath where my measly mummy washed my new face off.

2019: Well today saw me putting on another face. Dressed up as an astronaut for a video promo in Norwich and pretending everything is ok. This got me wondering how astronauts poo in space without gravity? Would it be helpful with Crohn’s? Anyway, the whole day and the pretending was exhausting but I made it through. I got home to a hospital letter saying that my Infliximab will be starting on 25th September. Although my mood remains low, I am excited to start these as have been pushing for so long to try and change from the horrendous Azathioprine. One surgery down, two lots of medication trialled, Five endoscopies/colonoscopies done, 2 bariums down, admittance for septicaemia and fungaemia, 4 admissions for flare ups and FINNALLY they have listened. Just goes to show having the right IBD nurse goes a long way

#chrohns #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #toddlers #mums #gardening #parties #birthdays #infliximab #outerspace