August 8th – Painting the Town Blue

1999: Got into mum’s bed this morning only for her to get out and get into mine 20 minutes later..  Who wriggles?  Not me!  I went looking for her at seven and kicked her out to get juice and milk.  Gran collected me to go and see daddy  where I weed my trousers and then the floor and eventually the potty.  I played in the garden tonight and painted my car, just like old times – before holiday.  I had to have a bath afterwards as I was covered in blue paint (along with the garden).  I tried to cuddle mummy before I got in but she said “No. Not with painty hands”.  What’s the matter with you mother?  They’re dry.  And I told her “No. They alright now” and I got my cuddle.  I had hiccups in bed tonight and when mum  asked where my bottle was and I said “I don’t know mummy, I don’t know” (how can she ever get mad with me?)  After much hunting, she found my bottle and set off to get me some juice (which is all very well but have you tried drinking with a sharp intake of breath?)  I think I’ll stick to the hiccups, less chance of choking that way.

2019:  Mum rang this morning to see if I wanted to go with her to see nan and Pa today but I opted to stay home again. I don’t like people seeing my unhappy side and the anxiety is confining at the moment. Mum sent me some ambulance jobs, but didn’t read the bits where they wanted 2 & 3 years full licence and 2 years driving experience but she’s emailed them for me anyway. Mum also rang my consultants secretary. He is just back from leave and they are waiting for the biopsy results from my colonoscopy before he reviews me for infusions. Hopefully this will be soon.

#childhood #adulthood #toddlers #parents #grandparents #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #crohn’s #painting #playing #pottytraining #cute #hiccups #drinks #jobhunting #ambulancejobs #driving #infusions

August 7th – Journeys Home and Cancelled Travel Plans

1999: Up at eight, got in to bed with mummy and milk and then realised we were in my bed.  How did that happen then?  Mummy said “I love you” and I said “yes. Love you”.  Am I supposed to cry every time she says it to me?  I went out for a last play with the caraban neighbourhood whilst they packed our cases.  On the way home we had to stop at the services because they thought I’d pooed my nappy.  Bloomin cheek, isn’t a child allowed to fart anymore?  I fell asleep after that as I guessed they’d be less chance of me being disturbed and awoke just as we arrived home. I played with my toys, watched Po, Pat and tots TV and played in the garden.  It’s lovely to see them all again!  I had a lovely big bubble bath and went to bed at half eight with my new Thomas the Tank light that Nanny bought as a reminder of our lovely holiday.

2019:  Another low and demotivated day. Mum called round to pick up all my hospital letters as is trying to claim back my Australia Visa money as Crohns continues to stop travels and it expired in March. Still waiting to hear from my consultant about infusions. Mum tried to tempt me out of the flat for a cuppa but anxiety was just too much again today and I opted to stay in and play on x-box. Will try again tomorrow …..

#toddlers #childhood #adulthood #holidays #caravans #journeys #toilettraining #xbox #anxiety #depression #australia #travelling #crohns #infusions


August 6th – From Sleeping Through to Pushing Through

1999:  After breakfast we went swimming and I had a go without armbands but mummy wasn’t too sure, and if the truth be known, neither was I!  We had lunch with plans to catch the 1.25 train.  The next I knew I had rolled off the settee and had a piece of newspaper taped to my back and the train was definitely missed!  My friends called round this afternoon, inclusive of Jonathon who kept getting chucked out of the caravan by mummy but he didn’t take much notice, as she sent him out of one door he kept coming in the other one!  I found it funny anyway!  Pa decided to get the kite going as it was quite windy but he had to make a few adaptations – he changed the kite piece to a carrier bag!  After tea we went to the beach and Pa and I flew our Asda carrier bag which was far more successful than the kite.  I managed to fall flat in a puddle on the beach and nanny drove up a kerb on the way back to the caravan to which I said “oh, dear, dear, dear”.

2019: Mum text this morning to see if I wanted to go see The Lion King at a small cinema in Lowestoft.  I instinctively said No and then decided I need to tackle this and went over. I picked mum up and were going to have chips on the sea front but I decided on sweets and popcorn for the cinema instead. She had said she only had a fiver but then said she could probably stretch to chips as well. At which point I told her I am no longer two and I’m not gonna have a tantrum just because I cant have both and Id chosen sweets. Movies on a budget with 2 4 1 thank you Meerkats. The film was good and fitting as mum and I used to watch the 1994 version at least weekly when I was a kid. Only problem with watching it at the cinema is mum couldn’t make her excuses to leave the room when Mufasa dies.

#toddlers #childhood #adulthood #mums #grandparents #holidays #kites #beach #caravans #afternoon naps #trains #lionking #anxiety #depression #mental health #movies #cinema #sweets

August 5th – High Days and Low days

1999: After breakfast we trooped to the launderette to wash clothes and bedding – and I thought we were supposed to be on our hols!  Pa took me to the park where I decided to jump in the puddles to splash another little boy and I ended up getting soaked.  Think I’ll have to go back to the drawing board on that one.  Mum came and found me with a pair of washed and dried pants but she stopped to stroke a dog and before she could get them on me the dog had run off with them.   We went for a train ride again today to Dungeoness but there was nothing there, so we got back on the train and went to New Romney station for coffee, cakes and a wee in the 20p slot train ride.  We caught the train back to Romney sands and disembarked nervously as we only had tickets to Dungeoness and back.  I’m sure I’ll get hauled over the coals if I get caught doing the same when I’m older.  Honestly, I could have ended up with a record for being totally innocent!  I went out to play with my friends and came in and led Pa out to “look”.  I showed him the poo on the floor and said “gog”, but it would seem Pa isn’t as easily fooled as I thought.  We went dancing tonight with Dylan the dinosaur, me complete with nappy as mums finally got fed up with wet clothes.  Personally I wish I’d never insisted on potty training to start with but I really thought mum would give up before the novelty wore off.  Lesson: never underestimate your mum!

2019:  Mood still low and anxiety at its peak. Forced myself to go to the gym as I know this can help but only lasted 20 minutes due to feeling so dizzy and faint. The anxiety forced me back home again but, as mum said, at least I gave it a go. I just feel safer indoors and am spending my time on x-box which at least is a distraction.

#toddlers #holidays #mums #grandparents #toilettraining #dungeoness #NewRomney #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #xbox #gym #exercise #dogs #dinosaurs #holidays