September 14th – Pressure Leads to Explosions!

1999:  Couldn’t poo this morning and this continued the whole day resulting in me telling everyone my bum ‘hurt’, ‘stung’ or was ‘sore’.  I didn’t want any tea and was crying with tummy pain, with a very large tummy.  Off to the doctors we went.  It’s quite good now, what with me being a great actor an all, mum says “put your poorly head on” and I carry the role to perfection.  This saves face for mum coz usually I scream at home and am happy as Larry when we get to the docs.  I was sat on mums lap in the waiting room when I let out a yell and doubled over in pain.  Mum thought I was playing the role very well – she thought I was giving birth.  I was – first the waters broke and then I gave birth to my first poo.  Bliss.  We still went in to see the doctor though who confirmed I was constipated and has prescribed medicine, enemas and suppositories.  Lovely, I like medicine.  Mum says I probably wont like this though as it goes somewhere different from the usual.  We went to the chemist, me with no trousers or pants and mum looking as though she’d wet herself (perfect aim, even if I do say so myself).  What they all looking at then?  There are some weird people in this town. 

2019: Well nice to know I had difficulty way back then! Although no problem pooing since my fried food last night. I  know I shouldn’t have but fish and chips but was just a craving and was great whilst it lasted! Today Zof and I went to mum and Marks to try and sell their house as they are away. Mum text me: No pressure. But you need to sell as just got a letter from Halifax. Mortgage is going up to £961 next month! Not good when she is in the process of being medically retired. We put our best sale head on. Now to wait …..

#constipation #crohns #housesale #mms #kids #acting

 

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Ditzydotcom

I may do stupid things and make light of them but deep down there’s a reason and I love exploration, even if I cannot fully understand the outcome!

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