August 8th – Painting the Town Blue

1999: Got into mum’s bed this morning only for her to get out and get into mine 20 minutes later..  Who wriggles?  Not me!  I went looking for her at seven and kicked her out to get juice and milk.  Gran collected me to go and see daddy  where I weed my trousers and then the floor and eventually the potty.  I played in the garden tonight and painted my car, just like old times – before holiday.  I had to have a bath afterwards as I was covered in blue paint (along with the garden).  I tried to cuddle mummy before I got in but she said “No. Not with painty hands”.  What’s the matter with you mother?  They’re dry.  And I told her “No. They alright now” and I got my cuddle.  I had hiccups in bed tonight and when mum  asked where my bottle was and I said “I don’t know mummy, I don’t know” (how can she ever get mad with me?)  After much hunting, she found my bottle and set off to get me some juice (which is all very well but have you tried drinking with a sharp intake of breath?)  I think I’ll stick to the hiccups, less chance of choking that way.

2019:  Mum rang this morning to see if I wanted to go with her to see nan and Pa today but I opted to stay home again. I don’t like people seeing my unhappy side and the anxiety is confining at the moment. Mum sent me some ambulance jobs, but didn’t read the bits where they wanted 2 & 3 years full licence and 2 years driving experience but she’s emailed them for me anyway. Mum also rang my consultants secretary. He is just back from leave and they are waiting for the biopsy results from my colonoscopy before he reviews me for infusions. Hopefully this will be soon.

#childhood #adulthood #toddlers #parents #grandparents #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #crohn’s #painting #playing #pottytraining #cute #hiccups #drinks #jobhunting #ambulancejobs #driving #infusions

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I may do stupid things and make light of them but deep down there’s a reason and I love exploration, even if I cannot fully understand the outcome!

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