1999: Bacon sarnies for breakfast. Afterwards mummy asked me to pass her tobacco (yes she’s started again). I did but told her “not in here. Caraban. Outside” and then just in case I took it all outside and put it on the step. She doesn’t usually smoke indoors but it is quiet early and she’s not quite with it yet. Today we went to Battle but there were no signs of soldiers or fights, and then on to Hastings by which point I’d fallen asleep. Apparently Nanny and Pa went for a walk but mum had to stay in the car with me, and I didn’t know anything about it until we pulled up outside the caravan, when I was wide awake. I went off to play with the locals and had a screaming time. Mum looked very glad when tea was ready and she got me out of the clutches of Jonathon, who came very close to being in mummy’s clutches on more than one occasion apparently! Tonight Pa banged his head on the cupboard door that mummy had left open. I looked on in awe whilst Nanny and Mummy fell about laughing and wondered why they found it so funny. Just to add insult to injury mum has now put a sign up saying ‘Beware, hard hat area’. We went to the club tonight where I got my first taste of wrestling and Nanny kept shouting “hit him with yer handbag”. I didn’t have a clue what she was going on about but I joined in anyway. We went to the park for a while and then had to go back to the caravan – something to do with me having wet shiny legs. It was only when we got there that mum realised it was lucky they weren’t brown shiny ones
2019: Wrestling continues today – with my emotions. I had to take my car for repair today in Norwich which at least got me out. I’ve been driving around for months with a taped on wing mirror. Mum came over and met me and we had a carvery for lunch and then simply sat in her car, on or phones is companionable silence. I just didn’t want to do anything else. But it was okay to just be. My bruv came over tonight and we just chilled.
#beyourself #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #Norwich #toddlers #parents #mums #grandparents #childhood #adulthood #caravans #smoking #Battle #Hastings #Norwhich #wrestling #toilettraining #pottytrsining