May 23rd – Fun Days and Hospital Stays

1999:  Up at seven.  Got dressed and played in the garden at 9.30.  I wanted to go out earlier, but mum wouldn’t let me.  Something to do with the neighbours and noise.  She needn’t have worried though, I don’t mind if they’re noisy, even if it is Sunday.  Grandma picked me up at 10.30 and I went to see daddy.  I fell asleep on the way home, but apparently got there at five and awoke on the settee at six.  I played in the garden and then we had tea.  Then I heard the ice-cream man and had a whippy ice-cream with a chocolate stick – yum.  I was too tired to even have a bath and fell asleep, in bed, with my sweatshirt still on.

2019:  Bring back those fun, stress free days. Feeling so stressed today, just with life and tonight I had to take codeine for face pain again. Nothing to do with my eye this time though, it was due to melt down and punching myself in in several times. Zof rang mum who started to head over but, once I realised,  I rang and told her  not to bother, I was ok and just needed my own space. I was calmer after the melt down but we did watsap. One message from mum reminded me that this time last year, I was laying in a hospital bed, arguing with the gastro consultant as he would not declare me medically fit to travel around the world the following week. I was shouting at him, telling him he didn’t realise that I needed to get away to sort out my head and then my stomach would be ok. He looked at me and said that I didn’t realise how ill I was.  He left me with 3 options,; surgery, oral immunos or fortnightly injections. He left saying he would be back at 6.30pm the next day for my decision. I was devastated, until a friend arrived and told me he’d planned to surprise me and meet me in Australia at Christmas anyhow so we could just travel together later in the year. I decided on the surgery.

#crohns #grandparents #toddlers #childhood #adulthood #girlfriend #mums #hospitals #JamesPagetHospital #Australia #travel #IBD #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #mensmentalhealth

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I may do stupid things and make light of them but deep down there’s a reason and I love exploration, even if I cannot fully understand the outcome!

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