1999: Found a packet of Hula Hoops, which had escaped down the back of mum’s bed, so I rescued them, and then ate them! I sat next to mum munching; she let out a big yawn, but didn’t put her hand over her mouth, so I obliged. (I think she was hoping for a Hula Hoop – unlucky). We packed our swimming stuff and headed off for the pool at Southend but once in the pool mum discovered that I had a bit of a temperature and then I got chilly, so we got out after only 20 minutes. We went to Donals but I didn’t really eat anything and we had to go to boots to buy some Calpol. I sat on the counter and took it like a good boy. I fell asleep in the car on the way home and woke up in bed at six, when mum woke me. I don’t know why, she always moans when I do that to her. Mum wrapped me up on the settee as I am quite poorly now and very husky. I had two bottles of juice, another dose of Calpol and managed to eat some pasta and some marmite sarnies and got in a lovely mess. I told mum I was putting the bread in the bin; she got it out again and fed it to the birds, under close supervision from moi from the settee.
2019: Half way through my last week of labouring. Mum called me on the way home and ended up meeting me at a garage in Loddon to put £20 of petrol in my car! I’ll pay her back on payday Friday.
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