1999: Whilst Mum had a bath this morning I trashed my bedroom. Edon’s without a nappy all day today. When mum picked me up we had to run to the car as really heavy hailstones fell from the sky. We got a bit wet (and bruised!) Once home I had a strop for about 5 minutes, I rolled around, screamed and kicked my legs. Why? Because I FELT LIKE IT! I soon calmed down when mum poured me some juice. We couldn’t play in the garden tonight because of the weather, so we cooked tea and watched Tell Tubs and I fell asleep cuddling mum and drinking tea.
2019: Complete melt down tonight. 20 years on and again I rolled around and screamed, but this time I smashed my fists against the walls, I wished I was dead, I cried and cried until 2am. It is so hard getting out of bed every day. I feel exhausted before I even start my days work. I’m 22. I should be able to say “hey I’ve got this” but I really haven’t right now. Zof saw me at my very worst, she hugged me and held me until I fell asleep and there I am lucky. If you don’t have a Zof then please find someone to talk to and keep yourself safe
#crohns #chronic illness #depression #anxiety #suicide awareness #talk #men
The Way it Really Is - Then and now 