April 11th – Crohn’s and the Blues

1999.  Sunday lie in until eight.  I’m going to see daddy today and I’m very excited.  Mum and I even had to stand on the front garden to ‘look’ for Grandma who was picking me up.  When she arrived I helped mum with the car seat and climbed straight into it.  I was very pleased to see daddy and followed him around all day, pulling on his trouser leg saying ‘Dad’ ‘Dad’.  Grandma talked to me on the way home to try and keep me awake, but it didn’t work and I arrived home sound asleep.  I woke up at 5.45 and not in a happy mood.  Mum let me have a paddy and then we had a cuddle.  After my bath we shared a Pizza and then we went for a walk down the shops in my buggy.  Went to bed at 7.30, with a story (well the bits that mum could read before I turned the page – she’s so slow)

2019:  If only all I had to worry about now was sleeping, eating, following others around, relying  on them and not having to worry about money. You know you have grown up, when you walk around Tesco’s berating yourself for having left the 10p bags in the car!All I want to do is sleep and sleep and eat when and what I want without being in pain and having to run to the loo. I’m struggling to work 6 days a week, hard graft, because of my body. I’m getting to that stage again of hating the battle and my mood is getting low.

#crohn’s #chronic illness #depression #anxiety #growing up #toddlers #adults #finances

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I may do stupid things and make light of them but deep down there’s a reason and I love exploration, even if I cannot fully understand the outcome!

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