1999: Woke at 7.55 because the phone rang and woke me up! I was in my own bed and when mum came in I was sat up looking at her. We went downstairs but it’s a bit chilly today and mum said I needed my dressing gown, so I got up and started up the stairs only to find mummy close behind me. ‘Nooooo’ – honestly, I wish she’d give me a bit of credit; it’s not exactly hard to go up the stairs and get my dressing gown off the hook. I managed it okay and then had to suddenly shout ‘Pooooo’, with the best look of horror on my face that I could muster. Quick mum, quick. Don’t think I can hold this one. We made it just in time – talk about fireworks it was explosive. Mind you, I’d obviously had an explosion in my sleep too, and mum in her half awake state hadn’t noticed until this point that I was covered and very, very sore. Mum stood me in the bath and showered me off. I wasn’t too sure at first, but mum said the water would be better than stinging wet wipes – she was right, well they sometimes are. I was then dried, covered in cream and dressed. No nappy? Isn’t that risking it a bit mum? They have no common at times. I lay on the settee, watching my telly tub video. I’m not feeling too bad now but I could quite get used to this pampered life. I played most of the morning, in between toilet visits and then I asked mum to blow up my Telly Tubby tent, which she did. It took exactly 18 minutes, what with me wanting to have a go as well, and then it promptly went back down again – something to do with a large whole in the roof. I think my mums really mean, I don’t see anything wrong with her sitting there pumping the tent up for the rest of the day, but she wouldn’t she said there was no point. But there is a point. A very big point in fact; I want it up and I want to play in it. Nan and Pa called round with more clean washing and some hoover bags for mum, which is great news because it means we can now hoover up all the bicarb from the carpets. And she moans about the mess I make! Mum tried to put me in the bath tonight but there is nooooooo way. My bum stings enough thanks very much.
2019: Went to meet flat landlord today and he likes us. We still love the flat and there is no hole in this roof. In fact we discovered a big boarded loft space. Now just to get references sorted …. and a job!