1999: This morning I put my mouth right up to mum’s ear and whispered ‘Mum’, but she didn’t seem to hear, so I did it again at the same time tapping her on the head. This seemed to do the trick. Mum decided we would drink our tea and milk in bed this morning, which seemed a good idea until she dropped her tea in her lap. I carried on drinking whilst she went and sat under a cold shower. God knows why. Surely a warm one would be more fitting for this time of day. Mum put my warm fleece and hat on this morning, I don’t know why because it’s not particularly cold, but it had something to do with the fact that they ‘matched my trousers’. What do I care? I’m an Aquarian; colour and clothing co-ordination is not my scene. I ate all my dinner tonight and mummy says it’s so nice to cook for a reason and not to throw it all in the bin. I don’t know what the problem is, any fool can open a freezer, take something out of its packet and stick it under the grill or in the oven – it’s really not that hard mum.
2019: Made Zof breakfast in bed this morning – fortunately it was only cereal with cold milk so when she spilt it all in her lap it wasn’t quite so bad! We offered to take mum shopping today – I’m still denying it has anything to do with the lack of food and bacon in the house. But in fairness to me, I did cook a stir fry for tea, so surely that makes up for the shopping bill being double the normal price?